deep feelings. big breaths.

“if you’re going to feel as deep as the ocean
it may help to breath as big as the sky.” -Jaiya John, Freedom: Medicine Words for Your Brave Revolution

The range/rollercoaster of emotions 2020 has sucked out of us has been dark, deep and difficult.
One of the prompts I’ve been offering week after week during Meetful Mondays is to draw an uncomfortable feeling you’ve been feeling.
Two things to note here...
1.) People enter this virtual space as strangers. It’s a real act of bravery for participants to be so open, raw, and willing to peel back some layers. It amazes me every time.
2.) Feelings have generally been falling in the realms of overwhelmed. Angry. Terrified. Sad. Anxious. And we talk about why.

In attempting to really absorb these conversations in conjunction to various forms of media I’m consuming—from podcasts to articles, books, e-newsletters, profound posts on instagram—I’m realizing that this wheel of consumption needs to shift for me personally. I’m still figuring out what that looks like, but I know a part of that means taking some time off of the instaworld. Maybe for a week? Maybe a month? Whatever it may be, though I like to think it’d sure be nice for a real life ~reset button~ to exist, that’s not what I actually want or need.
(but then I’m like wait—-isn’t all of 2020 a big bad giant reset button? 🤪)

What I’m craving is integration. To more fully process. To let things deepen.

As I let out a huge sigh while writing this, I’m like oh yeahhh, there it is. more of that. Exhaling the big stuff. Exhaling the hard stuff. Exhaling the blocked stuff.

TGIF anyone?