THE GREAT IN BETWEEN, PART II: RECONNECT

The theme for February was to reconnect.

Participants were prompted to think about the various points, parts and pathways needed to re-engage with something in a sphere that felt disconnected. Considerations included reconnecting with: an idea, a personal practice, a person, a recipe, a tree, a poem, or even that playlist made in high school.

In shifting through the reflections I received, I wanted to share these quick bullets/reflections to the reflections:

It often seems when prompted to reconnect, we must disconnect or unplug in some other capacity of our lives
The list of songs folks reconnected with = epic.
There are so many facets, layers, and compartments of our lives that call for a reconnecting with. let’s listen closely and nurture those as needed.

On a personal note: my month of reconnecting certainly revived parts of me that needed a reawakening. Reconnections included:

CONNECTING WITH COLOR - I participated in the Hue Years Resolution Art Challenge (hosted by Kellie, a fellow In Betweener!), which was such color therapy during the long winter days. This was my third year taking part in this challenge, and I used this round as an opportunity to get messy with my kiddo. We had fun dabbling in textures, and exploring different mediums + materials. I fully admit our artmaking experiences lasted about 7-10 minutes each week and he often was most interested in eating the paint, but heck; just washing paintbrushes again felt good. It's been tough maintaining an art practice amidst working full time and parenting a toddler. This totally filled my creative cup.

CONNECTING WITH BREATH & BODY - I mentioned at the end of January, I finally stepped foot in a yoga studio. Friends: I've been going three times a week ever since. I have not had a regular yoga practice since...2019? Even then, it had gotten sporadic. Reconnecting with my breath while moving my body has been healing and so nourishing.

CONNECTING WITH CARDS, LETTERS & GREETINGS - our New Year's cards turned into Valentine's Day cards...with a few lingering that might be "happy spring!" cards. Snail mail is one of my favorite things in the whole wide world and I've neglected this practice as well. Proud to have paced myself throughout the month by sending belated messages and notes...signed, sealed, and stamped. I hope to keep up.

CONNECTING WITH ROOTS, BRANCHES AND BUDS: I co-hosted my first Tu B’Shvat Seder while celebrating Tu B’Shvat, the Jewish New Year of the trees. This is a ritual where symbolic foods (all fruits grown on trees!) are eaten in a special order that invites guests to reflect on the important role trees play in our everyday lives. Ever since I can't stop looking at the trees and thinking about the invisible beginning of springtime renewal happening below and within. Nature is neat.

CONNECTING WITH BLOGGING: I've waffled back and forth on whether to share the Great In Between via Substack, but I decided to revive this Betterish blog instead. :)

Here’s how reconnecting took shape for the In Betweeners:

“We live in a little-ish neighborhood on top of a hill and some of the reconnecting that’s been happening around here is actually amongst all my neighbors. Everyone’s always been kind, and waving and saying hi and the like, but when covid hit, and with various other happenings, everyone sort of retreated into their own worlds/spaces. Lately, there have been little walks with each other, nice long chats, and “the weight” is feeling a lot lighter again. We’re also part of a new generation of littles arriving in the neighborhood and, in true little form, they are finding each other and starting to have a ball. Another new development is that everyone has also set up a little table smack in the middle of all our houses where we can share our garden stuffs: lots of Meyer lemons and citrus lately. It’s a little thing, but it’s lovely, and I feel like it reflects this place and the reconnecting that’s happening. We feel very fortunate.” L, California

“I just completed a month of collage and am listening to Rick Rubin's new book The Creative Act. I realized that I was employing a lot of good strategies this past month. I practiced gathering seeds, some were nurtured and grew into great ideas, some were meh but I accepted that they might become something later OR they helped clear a path to something else. I reconnected to FLOW this past month. Today I will reconnect with my family who I have partially been neglecting as I sat for hours collaging all month :) I had also reconnected to regular exercise until I broke my nose skiing so I am looking forward to revisiting that this week as well.” M, Denver CO

“This past month I have been reconnecting with my heart center. Really going inward and healing wounds that I never knew were still open.” A, Kuwait

“I haven’t picked up one of my guitars in quite some time. And I was thinking about the meaningful lyrics to a song written by my sister, ‘Love Remains’ which came up in a therapy session I had this past week. The song is about covert narcissistic abuse (which had a major impact on both my sister and I) and choosing LOVE over fear. We professionally recorded it many years ago. But I forgot the chords! And so I picked up my acoustic, figured out the chords and got inspired. I re-strung my rusty-ish guitar strings and have been having fun reconnecting with my instrument, one of my first passions! I’m 51 now, but started playing at age 11.” G, Atlanta GA

“I saw the prompt this month and tried to dig deep to discover what I needed to reconnect with–- nothing came. I let it float out of my mind and meanwhile the universe gathered people that I needed to fill up the small corners of my heart that were used to being beyond the normal fill-level. A couple I haven't seen in years adored the work I created for them and offered me leftover wine and cheese while we chatted. Canceled plans with kindred souls were fulfilled. Music reconnected me with myself during hours spent in my studio. I closed myself off last year while I was growing a human, and I feel myself opening back up.
Also in the realms of reconnecting: when I was a kid and my mom wasn't home when I got back from school and we had leftover Chinese food (rare, the stars had to align) I would heat up white rice and put butter and salt on it. A stomach bug rampaged our family for a week and the first thing I was able to eat was butter rice and it was glorious. I RECONNECTED WITH BUTTER RICE” O, Denver CO

“Reconnecting to the small joys of life have been fun. Spring blooms and interesting cloud patterns and the smell of clean laundry as I put it away.... I haven't enjoyed those things for a couple of dark months...K, California

“I've been trying to reconnect with my body + my social life this month - my 7th month postpartum. I finally did a workout outside the house (at our neighborhood gym - the 3 minute drive makes a difference!), and slept through the night uninterrupted for the very first time.
Socially, my best friend came to visit, which was a reconnection of an entirely different, more soulful level. My husband and I also did our first overnight trip away from our daughter, and just the drive to that destination unearthed a lot of hard, but necessary, conversations that were long overdue.
Learning to trust that other people can successfully care for my kid has been challenging and also deeply necessary. I love so much of being a mom, but I'm unwilling to lose myself and the pride I used to take in my physical strength / social connections / creative endeavors. It's a one step forward, two steps back journey sometimes, and it's rarely without compromise. But I do feel like progress is being made and that there's room for me to be *me*, not just ‘mama’" C, Genesee CO

“Connection is one of my top 5 values, and I describe it as wanting to be connected to myself, to others, to my environment, and to my choices. I try to use it as a metric when I am feeling disconnected. In taking some time this month, the sad reality is that I feel very disconnected from all of these things at the moment. So, when I know this, I then have to ask myself what I need to do to be more connected…to myself, to others, to my environment, and to my choices.
To Myself: I finally made like 5 different doctor/wellness appointments that I have been dragging my feet on scheduling. Just taking this step to be better connected to my body, increased the feeling of being connected to myself.
To Others: I participated in a snail-mail project initiated by Dani Kreeft, where we sent a piece of snail mail to a stranger. The rule being: “You can send a card, a postcard, a letter, something long, something short, whatever you want. Just send something you’d smile to receive.” So, I sent mine off to a stranger in Canada (see above). I was then inspired to send one to two friends that were having health issues, and as a thank you to another friend. The handmade card included 30 quotes cut up, so that the recipient could pull a quote for 30 days…or really whenever they wanted. They were quotes that I have been collecting, so it was a fun way to share a bit of myself with these people - a way of connecting, if you will.
To My Environment: I booked a trip to an area of the country I have been curious about and am using it as an opportunity to do some data gathering. Do I feel connected to this environment in a way that I don’t to my current environment? Is it time for a change or do I just need to reconnect to Denver?
To My Choices: I feel like during the pandemic so many choices were made for me. I am trying to reconnect to what it feels like to actively make choices based on where I am at this point in my life - and not based on old narratives or even where I was pre-pandemic. What do I need now - at this moment in time? This feels both scary and empowering.” K, Denver CO

“I reconnected with the concept of “back burner” being an okay thing sometimes. It’s not always procrastination or inefficiency…sometimes there’s just too many things going on and one of those pots needs to be out of the way to just simmer. Sometimes that simmering is even exactly what that pot needs to reach its best flavor potential. So embracing that and examining the things in my life for their burner matches 😉 S, Portland OR

“I reconnected with my art practice” **J, Santa Cruz CA**

“This has been a perfect time for me to reconnect for me. Seeing as my life is so disconnected right now. I have been going back and forth to Santa Fe and Albuquerque while my mother is in rehab for heart failure. I come home on the weekends to recharge my battery and take a break from the toxic environment that is my step father. I am now sticking up for my mother and making sure she gets what she needs. And in the course of all this I have figured out that what I want for her is not necessarily what she wants. I am not in charge of all this, and I can't fix this. My job is to show up and be loving and supportive.
So, reconnect. I have been reconnecting with my mom. She has shared childhood memories with me. She is also reconnecting, with her past and a simpler time. I tried to think of my first memory of my mom. Strangely I could not think of a first memory of her. She was kind of always there, in the background, a calm supportive presence. I hope I am that with my kid too. I didn't dominate the memory but was a part of it
While I am there I have been staying with my real dad. This has given me a chance to reconnect with him. My real dad has been supportive and helped me cope with all the stuff that is going on with my mom medically and through me emotionally. The last time I left I had a true sense of peace. This situation is all supposed to be happening and is playing out all as it should in divine order with the Universe. I am but a small part and not in charge or in control of the outcome. I show up and be loving and supportive to the extent that I can be. I also know I have to leave for my own sanity. I have a home, dog, plants, and a loving husband who will come up next weekend to install grab bars and a new shower head for my mom. We will also move some furniture so she can get around in the house safely. I have to have my time to reconnect with my life, too.
Which leads me to: I yearn to reconnect with my boring semi-retired life here in Silver City, NM. I yearn to have NOTHING to do. I yearn to have NOTHING on my mind! I yearn not to worry about outcomes. I know better. Stress does nothing and solves nothing. I am living in two, or three places out of a suitcase. I miss my dog. A, Silver City NM

“The first thing that came to mind when yearning to reconnect? Reconnecting with myself :] In all ways - being honest with myself about the things I like, don't like, noticing the way I treat and care for my body, the way I think, react and feel, understanding what it's like to feel comfortable and wonderful in my own, on my own and with others <3 A, California

“I Reconnected with bike riding. Rode to ParknRide on Winter Bike to Work Day. Even though I was tired and fell off my bike once, I really enjoyed the freedom and exercise and so later, took my bike into Epic Mountain Sports for a tune up and added a light, cage, and basket to make it easier to bike more often.” T, Arvada CO

“I reconnected with toast with butter…and maybe honey and cinnamon-sugar, maybe almond butter or apple butter. My dad used to make me cinnamon-sugar toast and my recollection of that is very comforting, although I have quite a strained relationship with my dad. I have a vivid memory of the little yellow plastic bear-shaped shaker that the cinnamon-sugar was in. I have been having toast as a snack a lot of nights as I navigate ever-unfolding eating disorder recovery and a newly discovered chronic illness. Sometimes just figuring out how to give my body food and comfort is such a strugglesome puzzle; knowing that I can nourish my body with this simple bedtime snack is a constant comfort on my hardest days.”

“The journal prompts for this month really hit home. I have really been struggling to connect with myself outside of motherhood. This gave me the ability to reconnect with parts of me I really missed through books, art, and movement. I finally picked up my sketchbook again and read several books. I went to the gym. I found intentional ways to reconnect with me outside of motherhood. H, Denver CO